Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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