nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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