Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
