So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
