zippers are such a cool invention
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
