What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
