Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
