No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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