He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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