Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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