He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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