Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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