i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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