i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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