After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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