There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
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