I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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