Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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