i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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