omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
