friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
