final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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