its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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