Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I would fuck him just for his dog
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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