Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
