He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
