So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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