ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
