Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
only you would photoshop your dick
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
