According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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