You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
