I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
