Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We left the knife in your bed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
