last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize