Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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