O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
