READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
