you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
