Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
