i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
