He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
