She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
