So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize