Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
