there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Randomize
