He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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