just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
