see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
