i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
