So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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