Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just cropdusted the office
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
