I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
