I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Randomize
