"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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