Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
