did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
