i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
