then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
