i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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