And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
