before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize