Don't make out with my wife yet
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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