the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
