Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
