Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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