Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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