Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize