are you still at the devil's house?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I am naked and annoyed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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