this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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