Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
