hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
