Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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