hotel room ftw
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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