we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
