He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
