o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
