from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
