Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
