I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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