it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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