it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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