Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think i peed on brittanys purse
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
