soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
