He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
