Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
