Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize